It's a funny thing this global warming. Obviously I don't mean I burst out laughing every time I read about carbon emissions, but it's kinda funny wierd sometimes. Like yesterday for example. I was lying on the beach, watching people swimming, soaking up the sunshine, and lamenting the demise of the polar ice caps. Ok, so the last bit isn't true, but it should be, considering the only reason that I'm lying on the beach at Halloween is because of global warming. I only discovered last week that this weather isn't normal for Barcelona. There was a front page story in the newspaper about the bizzareness of people eating roasted chestnuts on the beach in their swimwear. Apparently it hasn't been this hot in October since the 1800's. Then again, they didn't have global warming in the 1800's, so maybe it's all just natural after all.... sure feels that way as I lie there soaking up those cancerous rays and inhaling the pollution... ahhhhh.
Did you read about the lastest weapon in the fight against Malaria? Apparently they've just created a genetically modified mosquito with glow in the dark testicles! Sounds like a joke huh? But no, it's true. The glowing gonads help scientists separate males from females so that they can sterilise the males and release the back into the wild. The only problem now is whether or not female mosquitos will actually be attracted to a guy with flourescent blue bollocks. So anyway, now that they have the technology, it's only a matter of time before it hits the human market. "Are you fed up of trying to find your balls in the dark? Sick of having 'normal nuts'? Get new "GLOWING GONADS"! One simple operation and your balls will be the envy of your friends and family forever!".
By the way, I'm coming back to England for Xmas! I'm flying into East Midlands Airport, conveniently located just below Sheffield... talk about false advertising! Anyway, hope to see some of you then. Otherwise, hasta luego!