Thursday, May 01, 2003

back in smelly Delhi!!!

So yesterday I went to get my bus at 6pm. After a rather precarious trip on Danel's Honda Hero with all our bags, I made it safely to McLeod Ganj in time for the bus. I was sat next to a large russian guy who was nice enough, except for a few unspoken border disputes concerning the LOC between our two seats, and some minor friction when he refused to open the window to let me throw out my half a samosa... Anyway, this was the first time I've done a long journey on a "super delux" bus as opposed to a "sleeper" bus. The main difference being that you can't "sleep". The seat reclines really far, which would be great if it didn't cut of the cirulation in the legs of the passenger behind. Being a nice guy, I put my seat halfway back up when requested by the guy behind me, but sleep was just not happening. The big Ruskie beside me kept inching his way across the LOC into disputed territory, and more than once I was forced to dispatch a series of butt-butts (like a head-butt but done with the butt), with very little effect.

Eventually, after about 14 hours, we arrived on the outskirts of Delhi, and our bus stopped. I was expecing this, as a friend had told me that first the bus stops outside Delhi in the Tibetan district, before continuing on to the City. However, something was going on here.... The drivers were telling everyone to get off!! By brilliant Indian logic, they had decided that seeing as there were two buses, and some ppl had got off, they could save some petrol by making us squeeze onto the other bus! A fine idea if there was space, and if we hadn't already paid for our seat until Delhi, but nither of these small obstacles was going to hold back this amazing plan. So, all the bags had to be removed from the roof, and then squeezed, along with their owners, into the aisle of the second bus.

After a while we started moving again, but not for long. After about 10 minutes, a german guy at the front starting having a strop because apparantly the driver had left his bag containing very important documents on the road back at the bus changing spot. Having not been aware that the bus driver was this idiot's mother I was yet to see why h should be respnsible for looking after his stuff, but anyway, Gunter (for want of a better name) somehow managed to convince them to turn the bus around, and when we eventually arrived back at the spot, it turned out that all he'd actually left behind was a sweatshirt, and a shit one at that! cheeky bastard.

So in the end I arrive in Parhaganj, and of course I'm surrounded by rickshaw drivers immediately. The thing is, I WANT a rickshaw!! It's only 20 mins walk to the train station, but I think fuck it, I'm tired, I'm gonna get a rickshaw. But alas, it is not to be. All the rickshaw drivers are determined to charge me double the actual fare, and would rather not take me at all if they can't ripp me off. Bastards. So I walk. And walk. And eventually i get to the Train station. After a fairly painless transaction in the air-conditioned "tourist reservation office" I head down to the platform to stick my bag in the cloakroom before going into town. But what's this??!! The que for the cloakroom is about 150 metres long!! And it doesn't seem to be moving....and I need a piss...and there's no one to look after my bag.... bollox.

After an hour of queing and crossing my legs, I finally get my bag locked up and head into town where I buy a newspaper. Luckily the indian newspaper only has one page for "non-indian" news, so I'm not too depressed by the world situation...

So which Bush is loonier?
Senior or Junior?

Getting the train tonight to katmandu. Such a cool name! Kat-man-du.... from timbuktoo to katmandu... In fact, I think if I ever become a super hero, I want to be known as the katmandood... pretty cool huh? :)

As you've probably guessed, internet is cheap here, and I have time to kill. About 8 hours. Yes, I could go and see the sights of Delhi, but quite frankly, I can't be arsed. It's hot, its smelly, and everyones trying to sell me something. I have taken to wearing my sunglasses and walkman while I walk around, which has distinct advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, I no longer have to acknowledge people if I don't want to, I can just pretend to be looking the other way, hidden behind my mirrored lenses, and my headphones excuse me from hearing anything... I am untouchable!! Which brings me to the downside: Due to my self inflicted deafness, I am also unable to hear the last minute horns of the rickshaws, wailing at me in horn language, "Get out of the way of I'll break your legs!!!!", and consequently have had rather too many close calls for comfort.....

I'm gonna see my girlfriend in about 3 days!!! cool huh? Can't wait.... :)

right, enough is enough, now Piss Off! Go on! All of you! Clear off! Cheeky little fuckers.....

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