I have alittle story to tell you about our safari in the jungle. We set off at 6am with our 2 guides, rajendra and monuch. Both are very experienced in jungle survival and animal tracking, as they grew up in villages inside the reserve. Their experience began to show as we entered deeper into the undergrowth, and they started pointing out various tracks and marks left by rhinos, tigers etc. Every few minutes, rajendra would stop suddenly and hold his hand up to signal we should do the same. We would all stand in deathly silence, not even daring to breathe as we strained our ears for the sound of wild animals. Each time we heard nothing except our own heart beats, until about the 5th time we stopped. It seemed like every other stop, and we had no idea what was about to happen....

We stood there in silence, once again straining our ears for the slightest sound. Then we heard it. "kuuurwaaarrp"..... It sounded like it was coming thru a loudspeaker in the choking silence. An inhuman animal sound that made your hairs stand on end. And then we caught the scent, which was almost overpowering. It was close. But where had the sound come from?? For me, this was a rhetorical question, as I knew exactly where it had come from: my butt. Yep, that's right, I farted. What could I do?! Farts are like children: eventually you just have to let them go. Admittedly I didn't realise it was going to be quite such a vocal fart, but then farts by their very nature are unpredictable beasts. Selene was standing in front of my and got a full earful of my bum's strangled cry. She turned to me, at first shocked, and then as the silence continued post-fart, the shock tirned into an uncontrollable urge to laugh very loudly. We both creased up, desperately trying to regain our composure as our guides stood alert, ears pricked and noses primed for the signals of the rhino. Obviously they were not as susceptable to toilet humour as we were, and they kept their proffesionalism intact. For us however, even after we had continued walking, every time we made contact we had to fight to keep the laughter down..... :)

ok, enough silliness. Back to the present. Me and selene have suicidally decided to try and trek to the annapurna base camp, which is at least a 10 day trek up very steep mountains with snow on and everything. We have also opted to take no proffesional assistance at all and carry all our own gear. We have however bought a book, so we are not compeltely unprepared. I have also purchased 2 bars of cadbury's dairy milk, so I think the mountain will have to try very hard if it wishes to defeat me.....

I'm spending so much money here in nepal. It's not so much that nepal itself is expensive, it's just that there's so much touristy stuff available that it's impossible not to spend.

We climbed a hill today as a bit of training for the trek. I think we did fairly well...... kind of. Selene only stopped every 20 mins for a rest. Unfortunately her shoes had no grip on the soles, so she kept slipping all over the place, but we've just bought her a pair of genuine counterfeit walking boots. These shopkeepers make me laugh! I ask them "Are these genuine?" pointing to a pair of "Columbia" walking boots... "Yes! Yes!" they assure me. Then I point to an identical pair of "Salomon" walking boots, and I mean IDENTICAL in every respect except for the name on the label. "How about these ones?" I ask. "Yes! also genuine!" they tell me. Even after I point out the similarity of these shoes, they still insist that they are genuine, although they are happy to admit that both are the same shoe...... Oh well, they're surprisingly good quality, so who cares? Mind you, I say that now, I'll probably be cursing myself when selene's soles fall off on top of the mountain.....

I've had 2 experiences recently with bad food. The first was with some "french onion soup". I know, what was I thinking ordering french onion soup in nepal, but i wanted some, and it was on the menu. Anyway, after waiting about an hour it finally came. It looked like boiling water with onion floating in it. It was. The second was a similar experience with a usually delicious tibetan dish called thukpa. Once again, i recieved boiling water, this time with noodles and cabbage floating in it. Unfortunately, being english, I am forced to pretend that the food is delicious and only complain when the waiter's back is turned. Sigh.

ok, enough. This may well be my last post ever, so if i dont make it back from the peak, you may all become very famous for having known me, and you are all welcome to sell interviews to the national press. wish us luck!!! We need it..... :)