Selamat Suree!

I am now in Yogyakarta, the tourist capital of Java. It's pretty cool here. Last night I went to eat at a restaurant with my mum and sis, and there was a great live band playing. They were a bunch of locals about my age, playing guitars, double bass, drums, mandolin, cello and of course vocals. I had a bit of a jam with them and they then invited us to join them at a party they were going to (I think this had more to do with the singer fancying my sister than anything...) so we headed off... What we arrived at was quite a surprise. A beer drinking competition! Bear in mind this is a muslim country, and if any of these youngsters had been caught by their parents they probably wouldn't have lived to drink again. But by god these kids got into the spirit of it! There were girls falling over, people throwing up, guys shouting and laughing... but absolutely NO aggression or violence, despite the copious amounts of free beer being drunk.... My mum and sis left after a while to go back to the hotel, but I decided to stick around. The guys who took me told me it wasn't really their scene, but Dekson, the singer, had promised his mate who was DJing that he'd show up, so he felt obliged to stay. So we hung out there for a while until Doni, the DJ, finished his set, then we headed off to a little roadside cafe, which consisted of some straw mats layed out on the floor outside the K-Mart.

It almost goes without saying now that these guys wouldn't let me pay anything towards drinks and taxis. These indonesians are just so goddamn friendly! These guys all came from Borneo, which as we know from the news is populated by cannabalistic tribes and bloodthirsty militant muslims. Mmmmm, they must be a genetic anomoly.... I mean the news is the NEWS! ...right?.....

It really is tragic how Indonesian tourist industry has been left to choke to death like this. I had assumed that it was since the bali bomb that things began to go wrong here, but I was wrong. It was actually the riots in 1998 (1997? I forget!) that started it. You remember? The ones where muslims were killing christians, christians were killing muslims, and everyone was killing the chinese and parading their heads down the streets on poles. And of course everyone in the whole country was involved in this, right from the tip of Sumatra down to East timor, because that's all we saw on the news...

Ironically, the lonely planet guidbook hasn't bothered to update itself since then, so the information in there doesn't take into account 7 years of no tourists! For example, when we arrived in pangandaren, Java's main beach resort, we headed straight for "Delta Gecko Village", as the book told us that this was a popular hang out for travellers and had lots going on. When we arrived the first image that sprung to my mind was that house in Terminator 2 where they go to hide out for a while, somewhere in the mexican desert i think... you know the one... Just a straight, dusty road, stretching to the horizon in both directions, and then some derelict looking buildings sitting neglected by the side of the road. We went inside and followed a couple of old signposts until we found ourselves in a little courtyard where an ageing hippie Indonesian and his wife were sitting around chatting. He looked up at us and the look on his face was priceless! First he looked shocked, then overjoyed as he jumped out of his seat to welcome us. "Come in! come in!" he said, grinning from ear to ear. He explained to us that he hasn't really had tourists, except for the occasional trickle, for 7 years. Before that the place had been so poular that sometimes they had to bring in extra tables to feed the 26 or so guests. He showed me some old photo albums and he was right. And I could see why: the place was amazing! Our host, Agus was his name, is an artist, and the whole place is one big piece of art... there are cow's jawbones set into the wall, beautiful mosaics covering the bathrooms, rooms on stilts with winding strairways leading up to them, all painted by hand so that you feel like you're in a huge art exhibit. We chose to stay in a 2 story "cottage" that was just beautiful, and we only paid $10 a night for the whole house. Agus made us dinner every night and we played guitar and sung and chatted with him and his many friends who came to share his hippie wisdom (or was it his free tea and coffee?). If you ever go to Panagandaren, which you should, be sure to stay at the Delta gecko Village!!

Once again, I was amazed at the hospitality, honesty, and all round friendliness of the people in pangandaren. It just seems such a shame that the rest of the world is too scared to experience the hospitality of these beautiful people.

While i'm here I may as well tell you about the jouney from jakarta to Pangandaren, as it was a typical Billy disaster journey....

We were planning to leave at 10pm in a hired car with a driver, so we checked out of the hotel and then started trying to kill the rest of the day in hot smelly jakarta. Then, around midday I decided to go on the internet, and managed to speak to my girlfriend, who then finished with me. As you can imagine, after over 1 and a half years together I was quite badly in need of a major cry, probably with some guttwrenching screams thrown in for good measure, but as I already mentioned, we'd checked out of the hotel already, and i was in a crowded internet cafe. After wiping my eyes too mant times to pass it off as a yawn, I told her I had to go and went out into the street. There was nowhere to go! I struggled to regain control of my emotions and walked back to the restaurant where my mum and sis were waiting. I headed straight for the toilet thinking maybe i could get some privacy there, but it was a tiny cramped smelly little loo with "Why?! Please come back to me!" rather appropriately graffitied on the inside of the door with marker pen. This was not going to be a good place to regain control of myself, so i headed back out and sat with my family pretending nothing had happened. I knew that i couldn't tell them without bursting into tears, so i figured best to say nothing at all.

Later i suggested we go to watch a movie, as i thought this would be a good way to take my mind off things and kill some time. The movie we watched was called "The In Laws", starring Michael Douglas, and it was really quite funny, which cheered me up no end, until the end when the couple got married and lived happily ever after, which kind of ruined my improved state.

Eventually 9pm came around and the taxi driver found us and we decided to set off. Once we started driving, it became even more difficult not to cry, as we weren't talking, allowing my mind to roam free. I decided the best thing to do was to pop a couple of sleeping pills that i'd bought in Thailand and just sleep thru the whole journey, so that's exactly what i did. Only that would have been too easy wouldn't it? So at about 3am, i was woken up by the car stopping. I think the driver wanted to get out and stretch his legs, as apparantly he'd almost fallen asleep at the wheel (great!). When he got back in and tried to start the car, instead of the usual "NnngNnngNnnng.. Vrooom", we got a small "click". We tried again a few times, but nothing. We figured the battery must be flat so it was suggested I jump out and push start it. May i remind you that I was currently under the influence of some pretty powerful prescription drugs which were not intended to make you strong and energetic. I fell out of the car and staggered about a bit before managing to clear my head enough to push the car down a small slope and jump start it.

After climbing back into the car and preparing to fall back asleep, I noticed the driver was looking rather worried. I followed his gaze and realised why. The headlights were so dim that you could barely see the road 4 feet in front of us. This wasn't looking good. We stopped again and got out, opening the bonnet for a bit of ignorant poking. Eventually we figured out that the problem was that some idiot has replace one of the battery terminal clips with one from a different car that didn't actually fit, and then tried to secure it with a screw! I tried to get it to work, filing bits down, sandpapering, twisting and turning, and eventually managed to make the car start. We set off again, but still the lights were dim. Then the car stalled. On a hill. More precisely, going UP a hill. Even more precisely, a fucking steep hill, just after a sharp bend. Once again we got out and proceeded to fumble under the bonnet. We tried to reverse jump start, but it didn't work, meaning we had to push the car BACK UP THE HILL to get it away from the blind corner!! So I pushed like a mule, feet sliding in the gravel, my heavily sedated body protesting as violently as it could, given that it was sedated. We got the car back to it's original position....and then repeated the whole thing twice!

Eventually it got light at about 6am, and a guy towed us to the top of the hill where we jumpstarted. With no more need for lights, you'd think it would be plain sailing, but no. The driver was afraid that if he slowed down, the car would stall again. I tried explaining to him that if he put it in a low gear, and kept the clutch in, it wouldn't stall, but he didn't seem to understand, and after nearly stalling a couple of times after slowing down in a high gear, he decided it was best to just maintain a dangerously fast speed at all times. The problem with this is that we were driving through villages at 6:25 in the morning, and the roads were packed with children on their way to school! Add to this the fact that we had no battery, and therefore no horn, and you can imagine how dangerous it was. I felt like leaning out of the window and screaming "Get out of the way!!! He's a maniac! Run!", but i didn't, i was still sedated....

Then he stalled again.

We were only 30km from our destination, but we had to wait for his friend to bring another car, during which time I fell asleep, and then woke up feeling like absolute shit. But anyway, we reached there in the end, and i got my own room, where I collapsed on the bed and finally let out the flood of emotion that had been welling up inside me for the last 20 hours..... what a fucking day.