Happy New Year!!!

well, I dont know where to start really... Yesterday was a bit of a mad one. It all started at about 3pm.........

I was heading down to the beach with Joanna to try and breakfast after a typically long lie in. We made it over the wobbly bridge but just before we reached the restaurant we were called over by a big bald black brazilian beefcake called... Papiku. Papiku has a little stall selling jewlerry by the beach, and he was stood at his stall as usual, chatting up the customers. He wanted us to join him for some caipirinhas and a joint on the beach. How could we refuse? After all it was New years eve and it was already 3pm....

Papiku went and bought the neccesary ingredients for caipirinhas: a bag of limes; a bag of sugar; a bag of ice; and a bottle of cachaca. Cachaca is the local spirit. It tastes like shit but it costs 3 reals a litre ($1) and its very, very strong. The only way to make it slightly drinkable is to mask the flavour with a lot of crushed limes and a lot of sugar. Papiku had obviously done this before and had a large piece of bamboo for mixing it in. Once all the limes had been crushed in the bamboo flask he poured in a load of sugar and 3/4 of the bottle of cachaca. Then he stuck a long plastic tube into the flask and only then i noticed that it had a string strap for slinging it round your shoulder! It was like a primitive "Camelpac" but for alcohol!

After the caipirinha had been flowing for a while, we headed up the beach for a joint rolled using toilet paper... then, after we were really stoned, things started going a bit wierd....

Papiku didnt speak any english, and only joanna speaks portugese, so I ended up spending most of the time just grinning and playing guitar. Then Joanna told me what they had been talking about. Apparantly he had been telling her that liked her and he wanted her, to which she had replied that she was sorry, but she was with me. He said that didnt matter. She said that it probably did. He said how about a threesome? She said no, thanks all the same. Somewhere along the line this translated into "Yes, please grab my arse", which every time I was facing the other way is exactly what he did. This went on as we headed back into town, and by now he had become an unshakeable member of our new gang. He said he wanted to introduce us to a friend of his called charly. Ok, why not, we figured.

Later, we were back at our apartment, me, Joanna, Papiku, and Charly. Since Charly had arrived the mood had changed considerably. Papiku started displaying some rather strange behaviour. Each time he took a drag on a joint he would hold his breath, puff out his cheeks, and then emit a high pitched 'squeek' sound before blowing out. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me it got him more high..... Also, every time he did a line he would immediately walk into our bathroom and have a shower!! After he had done this about 3 times we asked him what was going on, and he replied that it was like doing heroin... okaaay.

By now he had made it clear that he intended to try and grope Joanna at every available opportunity, so I was unable to leave the two of them together, which was becoming a problem as I was dying for a piss. I tried to work out a way around the problem, and found it was rather like that problem they used to give you in tests at school with the chicken, the fox, and the bucket of grain. Maybe I could take Papiku into the toilet first, leave him there and come back for joanna, then bring papiku back.... Mmmmmm, maybe I would just hold it.

Eventually papiku left with charly, and we breathed a sigh of relief as a small amount of nornality returned to our kitchen. This lasted about 5 mins, and then he returned with charly and some spanish girl, and prceeded to rack up on our cooker. Eventually they left again. This time the peace lasted 10 mins. Then Papiku was at the door once more. "No more!" I said to him, and eventually got rid of him after explaining that i needed to shower and then i was going out.... he left in a huff.....

We finally headed out to find a new years party on a beach. We met up with Claire and Daniel, a nice young English/Australian couple. As lovely as they were, Claire reminded me of so much that I dislike about some english people. She basically judged every person she met in the first few seconds of meeting them, and put them in one of 2 categories: 'cool' and 'not cool'. So the people in the hostel she was staying in were awful because they were all "sad middle aged men"... it's such a shame when ppl come travelling and still dont managed to 'get it'. 'it' being the concept that actually people aren't all that diferent from each other at all, and you can find good things in all people. Oh well, I can't talk, I do it myself, but i shouldn't, so there a new years resolution for you.... :)

Ok anyway, the party. The only really interesting part was after midnight, when we found a group of people on the beach who were dancing the the music of once man hitting a triangle accompanied by another playing a primary school standard tune on the recorder. All the people dancing were pretending to be birds, and making bird noises to boot! It was a truly magical moment. The guy playing the triangle was prancing around like a fairy. In fact he looked quite like a fairy, with a funny hat and a wispy beard, so maybe he was one.

I dont remember the end of the night, but judging by the mess on the front porch this morning, I think it involved ice cream buffet....