Friday, October 05, 2007

Coming soon to a television near you!

Bush Bombs the Baddies: Part III - Iranian Evil

Yes that's right folks, just as you were thinking "Part II - Liberate Iraqi Children" was turning into the longest movie in history, plans are already being made to start shooting the sequel. After lengthy discussions about possible plotlines, the original "They're gonna nuke us all!" plot has recently been put on hold over fears that audiences just simply wouldn't buy it. Luckily talented screenwriters in the Pentagon have quickly drafted a new script, casting the Iranians as the cause of all problems in Iraq. This new angle means the movie can come out much earlier than anticipated, possibly even in time to be this years Xmas blockbuster! The movie stars U.S. and U.K. troops launching "surgical strikes" against Iran's "Revolutionary Guard", who will sometimes be played by themselves, but often filled in for by "extras" who happen to be living nearby. There is currently some confusion as to whether U.K. troops have actually agreed to star in the movie, but this hasn't stopped the Hollywood rumor machine, which is claiming that Gordon Brown has already given the project a big thumbs up!

Fans of the earlier movies will already know that the actual length and outcome of the films is difficult to pin down exactly. So far two possible endings have been suggested. The first is that the Good Guys (us), successfully "strike" the Bad Guys (men with beards) in a "surgical" manner, managing to cripple them militarily without actually injuring or killing anyone. This then leads to peace and harmony in Iraq, impartial elections, and general happiness all round. The second ending, which would be more in keeping with the original two movies, involves the loss of thousands of lives, mostly innocent civilians, a rapid acceleration of anti-western sentiment amongst Muslims worldwide, and the possibility of a third world war. While the first ending has a nice feel to it, it closes off the chance for a sequel, and we know how much the public loves a sequel! So my money is on ending two...

Read more about this and other exciting movie developments in any respectable newspaper!

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