So much to write and so little time!

well, a lot has happened since I arrived in Bangkok, so i'd better start at the beginning....

As i may have mentioned, i met a swiss girl called Anna on the plane, and we found a guesthouse together in Khao sarn Road and decided to share a double room to save costs. The place seemed pretty nice although the room wasn't great. As we were arriving there was this big american lady having a huge shouting match with the owners, who were completely ignoring her. As she stormed off i said "what's up?"... "Don't stay here, it's a terrible place!" she cried! "why?" I asked "It..it... it just is!" She shouted and then stormed off.

Well, being a rascist bastard i just assumed that she was being a typical american tourist and getting in a strop about something trivial. As if to confirm this, a fellow english lager-drinking thug looked up from his beer Chang to say "I 'aven't ad any problems mate, it's noice n quoiet 'ere if you ask me"... so, i believed my fellow beer swiller and disregarded the fat american as being a silly fat american.

At 7am the next morning someone began trying to drill into my brain with a selection of larger power tools. Then i woke up and realised it wasn't my brain they were drilling, just the wall next to my head, which wasn't really any different to be honest. I went to the toilet to escape the noise only to discover that someone just on the other side of the toilet wall was methodically hitting it with a lump hammer. I decided enough was enough and set out to find a new guest house.

I found a nice little place on a road just off khao sarn called PC guesthouse. The old lady sat outside didn't speak any english, but she gave me a handful of keys, and someone had thoughtfully written the prices of the rooms on chalk on the doors, so i managed to find one without to much trouble.

After getting back and telling anna, we packed our stuff and left. After we arrived at our new guesthouse, anna suddenly realised that the 10,000 baht (US$200) from her money belt had gone missing! We worked out that the only time she had not been wearing it was when she had left it in her room once at the last guesthouse, but the door had been locked! So it HAD to be one of the staff at the guesthouse! I had also had my brand new shower gel stolen from the bathroom there, and the walls were covered in signs saying "The management is not responsible for belongings left in your rooms", which all added up to dodgyness...

We went back to the guesthouse and confrontd them. The old woman just laughed at us and waved us away with her hand (twice in 2 days!) so we went to the police station. There we were told that the police were all on a lunch break for an hour, but that even when they did get back they couldn't speak english, so we were better off going across town to the tourist police. This we did, and after a long wait a report was obtained....

Later that day we had a much nicer experience:

We went to see the Matrix, but the cinema was already fully booked! :( The guy told us we could get seats in the "Gold Class" cinema, but they were 500 baht instead of 140! We thought about it for a while, and then decided fuck it, we deserved it. Right choice! I cannot begin to describe how cool the Gold Class cinema is! We each had a huge leather lazyboy armchair with remote control reclinabilty, a blanket, a pillow, and socks to keep our feet warm in the aircon!!!! Each 2 chairs are sat either side of a little coffee table and you can order drinks from the bar. There's only about 30 chairs in the cinema, meaning you have loads of space! I actually curled up on my chair like it was a bed.... bliss! The movie was pretty good as I had very low expectations due to friends giving me poor reviews...

Today has been a tiring day:

I set out in the morning to see Wat Pho, which has a large reclining buddah. On the way to the bus, I was stopped by a tuk tuk driver who offered to take me around quite a few temples for 20 baht if I agreed to go to one "thai factory outlet" and look at the stuff there. I have seen this kind of thing before in india, so knew the score. I go in the shop and pretent to be interested, and the driver gets commision, in this case being coupons for free petrol. So i agreed and we set off. After the first temple, we go to a shop, which turns out to be a tailors, and I feign interest in getting suit made for about 10 mins before making my excuses and leaving.

Then we go to a second temple and it's closed, after which he asks me if I will please see another shop for him and he'll give me the rides for free. He seems very sweet so i agree, and once again spend 15 mins pretending to want to buy a suit. Then he took me to the golden pyramid (a big golden wat on a hill), but when I got down from my viewing, he is nowhere to be seen! Feeling rather stupid for being tricked so easily, I decided to get the bus, but while trying to decipher my out of date bus-route map, another tuk tuk driver approaches me.

I tell him that i'll only visit his shop AFTER I'been where I want to go, which he is not very happy about, so i offer to visit one shop first as a down payment, and then one more after as a bonus... He seems happy with this so we set off. When we arrive at the shop, I am filming with my video cam as I get out of the tuk tuk, and when i get into the shop the saleman greets me coldly. "Can i help you?" he says. "Yes, I'm interested in getting a suit made".. I say, but it's clear he is not going to serve me, and he bids me good day and ushers me out of the shop!!! All because I was filming as I got down from my tuk tuk!

My driver is very upset as he hasn't got his coupons, and he tells me to go and find another tuk tuk! "No way!", I tell him, a deals a deal, i went in your shop and did what you asked! He begs me to get out, telling me it's late and he has to go home! Still I refuse and tell him to take me to Wat Pho. I even offer to pay him for the trip, but he is not interested! He just wants the coupons, as today is the last day of the offer! I convince him to take me to another shop to try again, and this time I'm more convincing in my "customer pitch". Then i tell him to take me to wat Pho, which he almost does.

We arrive opposite a large and grand looking building, which looks decidedly like the Royal palace. "Wat Pho?" I say. "yes yes, wat pho!" he says. I know it isn't, but I'm too tired to argue by now, so i just get out. He pretends he's going to wait for me until I've crossed the road and then he burns off at full speed...

But my transport troubles aren't over yet! I decide I've had enough and head for the express boat which goes up the river to near where I stay. I've given up on seeing wat pho despite being 5 mins walk from it! I get a boat and ask for the stop which looks nearest to khao sarn on my map. After about 10 stops we still haven't reached the one on my map!!! I ask the conductor and she informs me that we passed it 4 stops ago! At this point i realise that my map is, for want of a better word, shit. All the names have been changed, as well as the routes.

I get off at the next stop, and then try to get back, which should be easy but isn't. The first boat I jump on I am told that it doesn't stop at my destination so i jump off. The next boat takes 20 mins to come and then the woman tries to charge me 6 baht just to do one stop!! The beauty of just going one stop however, is that if you refuse to pay, the conductor has to throw you off where you want to be, which is exactly what happens! :)

So now I'm back near my guesthouse and it's pissing down with rain.

This has been a VERY long blog entry, so I'm gonna go get a finger and eyeball massage....

seeya!