"Yo. Hey what's happenin' dude? I'm a guy with a rep for bein crude. Sodomising people, wherever I go, it's not intentional, just pimpin the ho. Fixin wet sores to get the best whores, dripping bacteria, all over the floor, I'm the kid who made it cool to pee and fart, last name simpson, first name bart."

For those who never heard the original "Do the Bart Man", I apologise for that strange and offensive little ditty. It didn't come out of my mind. Unless you liked it, in which case it's entirely my own work.

Anyway, moving swiftly on. Today is a very special day, for today is the festival of "fri", when people of all races colours and creeds, join together for the traditional english celebration of drug abuse, casual sex, mindless violence and kebabs. Yes people, it is "Fri" day. And today is rather a special "fri" day, because today is my sister's birthday, and we are going into the "Big City" to celebrate. I have donned my least countrified clothes to try and blend in with the sophisticated town folk. Gone is my berghaus fleece and walking boots. Gone are my big wooly socks. Gone are my Panda slippers (only cos they wouldn't fit in the bag mind you). On comes the calvin klein jumper (8 quid in the sale in singaore). On comes the 3 sizes to big "av a crumpet and bitch" combat trousers (6 quid in the rejects shop in Kuala Lumpur). Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the Undercover Hippy to do as his namesake suggests and go undercover. Rooting out conformism and narrow mindedness wherever his annoyingly common long haired indie cut takes him.

It's a funny old world isn't it? Actualy, no it's not. I sat and looked out of the window for six hours and the funniest thing to happen was that the bus had to reverse out twice because he misjudged the width of the road. As I'm sure you can imagine, I didn't laugh. Well not for long anyway. It snowed last night. Quite a lot actually. Enough that my mum is panicking about my brother getting to his flight tommorow morning to fly away to sunny India. Lucky bastard. This is the first time ever that I've been the one staying home while he goes off to do something fun. It's just SO UNFAIIIIR! :)

You will be pleased to know that my songwriting is moving slowly along. You can have a little listen to one of my "works in progress" if you like. Right click on the following link and choose "save taget as" from the drop down menu.

http://billysalisbury.com/other_files/a_solution.mp3

this is quite an old version, but i'm on a dialup here so it's takes an hour just to upload one song. Anyway, it'll give you a rough idea of what i'm up to....

right, nearly time to go!

byeeee!